Hellooo internet. Meet Patrice, my new hanging fern/plant/living thing. In honor of the fact that I have oodles of light in the new apartment I made the executive decision to buy my first plant. It’s very grown-up, almost like having a pet. If I ever leave this city for more than a week I’ll have to have someone water it or get one of those globes in the as-seen-on-tv aisle in CVS.
This isn’t really a how-to post because well, we’re not performing heart surgery here, but here is what I needed. Dirt, plant of choice, a pot to put it in, and something to catch the water (I used a thrift store plate). Remember I went to the CB2 DIY event where I sat in the corner and watched Dimitri from Urban Garden Center put plants in pots? Now I feel brave enough to do it myself. Boom living things.
Take your drill and put some holes in your pot for drainage. Of course a normal person like you would have more than one drill bit and would make one big hole I think, but all we have is this size, so I made a lot of little holes. Like a sprinkler. I hope I’m not doomed. FUN FACT: This pot is super cute and looks like ceramic but is actually fiberglass and super light, from the Depot.
The most important thing I learned from Dimitri that I wouldn’t have known is to break up the “root ball,” yeah that’s what it’s called. So pour some dirt in the bottom of your pot, massage the little cone shaped mass since its been stuck in the tiny little pot in Home Depot for who knows how long. Put plant in pot. Whew, take a drink of water.
Pour some more dirt on top of the plant part. Spill a good amount on the floor. Its OK, the ‘Rooms isn’t home and you can clean up later. Let the cat smell your dirt for optimum freshness and to make sure Miracle Gro isn’t getting the best of your five dollars.
Water that shit. Don’t worry, if you suddenly realize you don’t have a watering can, its ok an all-purpose cocktail shaker has those little holes too. Make. It. Werq.
Yay, you planted something. Now hang it. I’ll spare you the ceiling hook process, because you should really have that discovery in private without anyone watching. But basically go get one of these, take a drill to your rental ceiling with wild abandon, and hope for the best. Mine is surprisingly sturdy, however there was a brief moment where I thought I was going to have a table plant instead of a hanging plant. Again. Werq.
There she is! Patrice just hanging there all pretty in front of that big ole window. Very proud, very happy for my minimal time and money investment. I hope I can keep you alive gurl. I promise to try to remember to climb up on my new ladder and water you once a week-ish. Now that I’ve warmed up with an easy fern in a pot, next weekend I’m going to buy some fancy herbs and will fashion us a proper herb garden for the kitchen and I can have cilantro on every meal just like in my wildest dreams.