You guys. Remember about 7 trillion years ago when I quit my job? A lovely co-worker at the time got me a lucky bamboo to make my life so lucky. I mean, she obviously wasn’t a blog reader or she would know my history with killing all living and green things that come into my house… But, I mean, it’s bamboo: so I went ahead and took it in and stuck it in a corner of my bedroom and tried to remember to water it from time to time.
As you can clearly see though, we have run into an issue… This yellow leaf thing has been happening for about three weeks? I dunno, could be a couple months: basically, I am a horrible no good plant owner and I should be on the banned list at all plant places like you used to see back in the days when people wrote checks and the gas station would have a list of habitual check-bouncers out for all to see.
Per usual though, my solution is to re-pot the little guy because maybe he’s just bored and he really wanted to live in that sweet cat vessel I bought on sale at Urban Outfitters about three years ago. PS. did you know that’s what the bamboo roots looked like? I. Was. Horrified. I thought they were going to come alive and eat me.
Any advice is always welcome. I promise I have not been overwatering the little guy. I’m barely remembering to water the rest of my living brood and they’re all thriving… Long live the season of green things—I think I’ll stick to grocery store tulips.
It has been far too long since the ‘Rooms and I have hosted a good ole fashioned drinky-drunky brunch. We love hosting people, especially in this new apartment because it’s HUGE and yet we haven’t had a brunch since ummmmm, Field Day 2012? Sorry, I mean, life just got way outta hand this year and I guess we prefer to go big or go home. Literally, if we can’t do it right we’ll just stay home eating sale CVS cereal and watching reruns of David Tutera’s My Fair Wedding.
The only thing we ever require of our guests for entry is a bottle of champagne (André is totally fine). So all folks have to do is roll up in style, grab a mini quiche in one hand and a mimosa in the other and get to partyin’. The proper ratio is one bottle per person, significant others are always welcome but don’t go “we-ing” yourself into thinking that one bottle of champagne between the two of you is gonna cut it. Ya heard?
Pot lucks in New York City are just too hard. Who wants to travel an hour on a Sunday with a half baked strata on the N train? Plus, we’re both far too controlling/distrusting such wonderful hosts that we really do like to completely take care of the food ourselves. Over the course of our five years living and loving, we’ve really tried and tested what works and what doesn’t work when it comes to proper brunch foods so no one leaves hungry: even the straight boyfriends/husbands of our lady friends.
The Menu:
Please note that all of these foods are in muffin/handheld form. We’ve sworn off silverware at Parkside brunches as it is just too difficult. We have no surfaces to eat on and no one likes awkwardly lap eating on a chair, plus YOU HAVE YOUR MIMOSA IN THE OTHER HAND AT ALL TIMES RIGHT? Enough said, hand foods are the way to go. Buy about ten of those disposable muffin tins from the dollar store, put everything in the oven at once and move on with your life. You’re welcome.
As far as “decorating” goes. We reprised the popular coffee paper flowers dyed in various of the moment pink ombré hues and pilfered a couple of bunches of twigs from Astoria Park. The ‘Rooms made some serious installation art by bringing home half of a small tree which I suggested he hang on the wall with some fishing line and then got the hot glue flower treatment: it was some real Anthropologie shit yo. Oh also, probably the best move to make your brunch real grown up and shit is decanting the juices in whatever vessels you have laying around and spending about $25 on fresh tulips and daffodils from the corner bodega – also put in whatever is handy. I think those “bud vases” are old artichoke jars that I hoard because I have a problem… Basically, if it holds liquid put some flowers in it k?
BONUS TIP: If you want to be super popular with your friends and encourage proper party length, set up a little charging station for cell phones and write out your apartment’s wifi name and password so no one has 4G battery drainage fears. Nothing will kill a party quicker than a bunch of dead cell phones. Plus, if your friends aren’t sharing live pics to Facebook and Instagram WHAT’S THE POINT?!!?!? We also had a brunch hashtag (obviously because I’m a nerd). I failed to populate to tumblr in time, but next time… next time… we will have a brunch tumblr for sure.
See you all soon for Field Day 2013! Thanks for playing.
In this week’s installment of ‘Tales of an Absentee Blogger’ allow me to distract you with a freelance project I’ve been procrastiworking on. I whipped up this little guy for a dear college girlfriend of mine whose day job is making prosthetic nipples and ears and other such missing people parts. But at night Colette put her art and theatre background to good use and started a little side biz making glittery fake nipples that will have the ladiez on RuPaul’s Drag Race clamoring YOU BETTAH WERQ SISTA. I mean really, how fun is that?
I put together a really quick simple web home for her. Just a nice uncomplicated homepage and an easy gallery page with product photos that also explains the process. That’s really all you need: photos, some copy, a little info, and a contact page. Somewhere down the line when she’s selling glittery nipples like hotcakes we’ve got the domain and framework set up so we can carve out a possible e-commerce space for her too. So check out her site, buy some nipples and see you back here for Niptastics.com 2.0!
This site was custom coded with Thesis on the WordPress platform. I’m an unapologetic internet pusher, so if you know anyone who needs a web home or some web help, send them my way.
