Hello all. Remember Peter, the laundry loving subletter cat that is staying with us? Peter’s favorite cat skill is fucking shit up and therefore Christmas is a bit different around these parts this year. I knew early on that a tree was completely out of the question and did a little soul searching as to whether decking the halls was even worth it, or if the hand-holding-man-friends tree would be enough. This is Christmas in a house when you have a ginger cat terrorizing your things 97% of the time. Out of stubbornness and pride I refused to sacrifice any of our beloved baubles in some kind of cat training/testing experiment for one who wasn’t mine and this is what I came up with. Washi tape. Lots and lots of washi tape.
This tree is about eight feet tall and probably took about two and a half rolls of washi tape total? I was using different stray rolls I already had laying around so that’s why it’s such an “eclectic amalgamation.” Also, I’m too lazy+poor to actually plan and purchase craft supplies anymore so… I guess we’re all lucky I don’t have a Christmas tree made out of ramen noodles and tears. If you are a planner you can totally do this better. For instance you could like, trace it on the wall first, measure for consistency, or um, look at a picture of a Christmas tree. I’m a big proponent of the eye ball method and well, it’s messy, mix-y, a little bit fucked up and “Hi, I’m Beckie have we met?”
The ‘ornaments’ are gold pipe cleaners leftover from Christmas’ past and kindergarten level tape shapes. Notice there are no pipe cleaner ornaments below the height of a stretched out eight month old kitten– hashtag protip. I’d like to say this washi tree is 100% cat proof but alas, about 2.5 seconds after I declared her ‘done’ Peter was all up in that corner trying to tear the tape off the walls. Yes he’s still living, but no we’re not speaking. However, sticking some tape back on the wall occasionally is a lot better than cleaning up shattered ornaments and pine needles every morning and night. I tried putting a fan in front of the tree when I was gone thinking the noise would keep him away, but our Peter here is fearless. Joy.
In an attempt to save Christmas I splurged on 15 feet of real pine garland and swagged that shit around the archway into the big empty room. I would of course have liked to have it extend all the way to the floor BUT WE DON’T ALWAYS GET WHAT WE WANT DO WE SANTA? Peter has yet to jump high enough to attack the garland so I’m calling that a success. The rest of the household surfaces higher than cat level are just a rearrangement of regular tchotchkes and dollar store Christmas crap. Nothing special to see here, moving along.
In a final display of holiday cheer I wrapped Myrtle, our street find dress form, in Christmas lights and put everything else away for next year. I like her standing in the corner all quietly illuminated and if Peter chews those wires and gets a little bit a electrocuted well, it probably won’t kill him. Happy Holidays everyone.